


Finding the Time and Place

by Starristra



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-12 08:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12955632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starristra/pseuds/Starristra
Summary: You grow up, you meet your soulmate, you live life together.Life doesn't always work out the way you thought it would though.





	1. Learning your Heartbeat

It had seemed so simple when I was a kid. You grow up, you meet your soulmate, you live life together. Things change though. I thought my parents would be together forever but life doesn’t prepare you for tragedy and made for each other or not sometimes relationships break.

I had been so excited, newly 16 and headed to receive my tracker. I had always known I wanted their heartbeat, strong and sure, on my wrist. My brother had gone with a timer and my parents had gone with distance trackers but I knew in my heart that I would want to feel their pulse, always.

It had surprised me that it was already beating I thought for sure I would have to wait a while for my soulmate to reach 16 convinced I would be the older, but it was steady and I desperately hoped the age gap wouldn’t be too large. I’d heard stories of soulmates 15 years apart, I hope they hadn’t been waiting long for my sake and theirs. I knew heartbeat would be the hardest to track but I had seen the desperation on my brother’s face when his time was two decades away and my parents recounting the times they had been so close but hadn’t connected.

I often found myself watching the pulse on my little digital screen and wondering what tracker they had gotten. I wanted to find them so badly every time their heart rate spiked I hoped it was them getting closer I wanted the connection and the love, I craved it.


	2. Learning my Rhythm

I wasn’t sure I wanted a tracker when I was growing up. My mom never had one, dad always chalked it up to her being a free spirit and I knew I was always more like my mom then my dad. My older sister had wanted one until she fell in love and said she didn’t need the confirmation. I shouldn’t blame her but I think our lives would have turned out differently if she had gotten one. 

Living in Starling City was like living in a different world, harsh and cold. People went without trackers all the time I think it was to avoid the heartache that came with the death of a soulmate before you met them. Not knowing always allowed for a certain kind of hope.

16 came and went and I figured I would find someone on my own, not tied down by societal norms. By the time I had gotten to college not having a tracker seemed normal to me but it made me stick out like a sore thumb. When Ollie invited me on the Gambit I jumped at the chance to connect with someone, anyone. 

Hindsight is always 20/20 I didn’t connect with anyone, I seemed to just make everything worse and in a moment of solitude I had convinced myself that I made the right choice not getting a timer. I had no desire to connect so desperately to anyone. I’d hoped who ever might be out there in the world would be able to move on with their life.

It was easy being with Nyssa, as the League doesn’t work in the realm of soulmates. I loved her and connected with her in a way I never thought I could and for a time there was peace in my life. There was happiness and though I felt undeserving of it I was grateful for the chance of what could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 done, let me know what you think =)


	3. Falling Apart

My sophomore year of college is some combination of erratic fear and studying as hard as possible. My tracker skips and speeds up and terrifyingly stops more times then should be possible for the pulse to continue.

It was days where the fear was overwhelming that I wished I had spent more time making friends, my only comfort was my brother. He kept tabs on me and I envied his relaxed view of meeting his soulmate. His date and time marked on his calendar and I wondered if I had made the right choice. My opinion of how much of an idiot they must have been increased exponentially every time there was a scare.

By my junior year of college I’d been relieved that my soulmate seemed to have found a way to not be so close to death all the time but my opinion hadn’t changed much. I was pleased that there were moments of calm where their pulse was slow and deep and I hoped beyond hoped that they had found some peace for the time being.

I’d been enjoying one of these peaceful moments when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hello, may I please speak to Ava Sharpe?”

“Speaking” 

“Hello ma’am, I’m calling to inform you that your brother, Jason Sharpe, has been involved in an accident” 

My world started spinning and I couldn’t catch my breath, I could only partially listen as, who I assumed was an ER nurse, explained to me where I needed to go. I could feel myself breaking as the line went dead and I tried to pull myself together. I needed to be with him but I couldn’t calm down.

My car keys had gone missing and I could feel myself getting hysterical, as I pulled my hand out from under my couch my tracker caught. The sudden pain snapped my attention to the pulse and I forced myself to breath thankful again that my soulmate had found peace for the time being.

He’d been practically hidden under all the tubes and wires and I knew I would start panicking all over again so I forced myself to match my breathing to the pulse. It was two days before my parents could get to the hospital, by the time they arrived the outcome was already grim. I held Jason’s hand as best I could and blocked out my parents arguing over whether he should be left on life support. I brushed his bangs back and stroked his battered cheek, the decision was mine in the end and I knew he wouldn’t have wanted to be. 

Life moved on, I had the need to find something meaningful for my time. The FBI seemed like the most practical use of my time and skill set. 

It’s a good couple years or as good as they can be, my soulmate is a steady companion and work is fulfilling enough that when an intriguing offer comes in I don’t think anything of it. I learn to deal with the loss of my brother and my parents who have split though agree that my brothers death is my fault. 

There isn’t calm form my soulmate anymore, there’s racing and stuttering just like all those years ago and it fills me with panic with everything else having fallen apart they are the last good thing there is. 

I’d been asleep when it pulls me to consciousness, the cold and empty feeling that is suddenly filling me and I know before I even look that there isn’t a pulse anymore but I look anyway. The little digital screen that had been a constant in my life for 10 years is blank.


	4. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No copy right infringement intended

There had always been something calming about training. It required focus and determination and it kept me calm and sane. The rigorous activity doesn’t give me time to think about anything any more. After long days it’s nice to know that there is someone who wants to look after me. 

I love her in a way I never thought I would have the chance to do, she can be cold and distant but with me she is always soft. Learning to handle pain is easier with her by my side. There are still times when I feel that I don’t quite fit in an outsider even after a couple years. Ra’s always seems to look at me with trepidation and my relationship with his daughter clearly does not please him.

“Your father still doesn’t like me”

“Father likes very few, I think he likes you more then you think”

“He doesn’t think I’m good enough for you”

“Father does not care about my love interests”

“Interests? Is there more then just me”

“No beloved, you know that” 

I nod with a smirk on my face, but I’m please that she cares enough to quell the fears I have, emotional scars rearing their head that I thought I had buried long ago. She’s helped heal some of those emotional scars, often when she’s carefully helping to heal my physical. 

The rumors start and as much as I wanted to leave my old life behind I’m pleased that Oliver is not dead and that he is working to keep home safe. I worry less about my father and sister knowing that Ollie is home looking after them all. I hope he stuck to his word and he told them I died. I know they’ll blame him, dad especially, but it’s for the best they can move on with their life. The life I lead isn’t going to end well and I’d rather they mourn the selfish but happy kid who left 5 years ago.

Nyssa wraps her arms around me when I come home from my most recent mission. I think she can tell that it’s finally broken something inside me. The darkness is pulling me in more and more every day and I can’t breath anymore.

I slip from her grasp in the dead of night suddenly pleased that I had taken so well to the aspects of being an assassin. Making my way from Nanda Parbat isn’t as hard as I thought it would but I know they’ll be coming after me. 

The Glades are a mess after the earthquake and in the confusion it’s easy to slip into the hell that is life in the Glades. My training is of use in this place and kicking the crap out of creeps makes me feel mildly better. I’ve been home for two days when the photo from the island reminds me that there are things I could be doing. It’s a couple of days watching out for her before I have to step in. 

Sin likes to hangout with me and the companionship is nice something almost like friendship, I’d forgotten how much I’d missed it. 

“Told you Paddy Shack, best burgers in town”

“Paddy Shack is in the mayors town I’d rather a subpar breakfast over a bullet”

I smirk as she digs into her breakfast, for a woman so small she sure can eat. Her tracker flashes on her wrist and with my run in with Ollie I’m reminded of the life I could have lived if I’d been able to grow up. 

She tugs her jacket sleeve down and looks up at me.

“You okay” 

“Yeah, yeah, just saw an old boyfriend”

“You have an old boyfriend in Starling City”

“Yeah, I’m worried he’ll tell my family I’m still alive” 

“You have family in Starling?”

I have to admit that its pretty funny when I think about the fact the my father is a cop and my sister is a lawyer, but I wouldn’t call myself a delinquent. Four years of being a killer is hard to break even in the presence of my father and I hate that he’s seen me like that. I know I have to disappear after that, Nyssa wont stop looking for me and I can’t go back, I can’t keep killing. 

The fear grips me faster then I thought it would when Ollie calls, torn between two lives and I know I have to go home. Its as messy as I expect and I hate that Nyssa loves me that much but if my option is killing or death I will gladly take death, I’ve been dead for years.

Putting a life back together is harder then I thought but Ollie and I settle into a familiar pattern and Laurel and I work at being the pair that we were when we were kids. Life is messy and I almost miss being dead, but nothing compares to having family. 

Slade brings back the fear of the island with him and I can’t relax, thinking every moment might be the last. When I feel like were loosing the war I know that there is something I can do and I have to leave, I have to keep them all safe, the family that I’ve always had and the one I’ve built. 

Leaving isn’t as hard as I thought, I’m comforted that my family knows I’m alive, and that I love them. Nyssa is glad to have me home but it doesn’t really feel like home and my heart aches in a way that I’ve been trying to avoid since I was 16. 

Coming back is equal parts comforting and terrifying. Its easy to find Ollie and it feels good to be side by side again. I can tell he wants to say more but I can’t miss my meeting with Laurel. She tries to guilt me into staying and if I do this for the League maybe I can. 

There isn’t pain. Just shock and betrayal as I look across the rooftop and suddenly there is nothing but air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's longer then I thought it was going to be but I hope you like it. I'm trying to make sure timeline is matching and I hope you have all been able to follow it.


	5. Walking a New Path

His name is Rip and the first 3 times he contacts me I am convinced he’s crazy. When he comes to me for the fourth time I’ve finally lost everything in life that I thought was worth living for and the idea of cleaning up time sounds exciting. I walk into my interview in my FBI standard issue uniform and am comforted to find that I’m not out of place in this Time Bureau. 

My dress shirt and blazer rub against the still tender scar on my wrist from having my tracker removed. The discomfort sharpens my focus and I school my features ready to move forward with my life. Rip is still as bizarre as he was the first couple of times he approached me and as I listen to his story I don’t know what to think. He pulls me through the organization he’s been building and saving time seems like a life worth living. 

Learning to live outside the timeline is odd even more so when I consider that Rip Hunter is living two lives. We learn from Rip during his time prior to recruiting the team and then we learn from him after he recruited the Legends, all the while he stands and watches time unfold. Sometime I think there’s pride in his eyes as he relives some of these moments and I can’t imagine why they’re the biggest group of idiots I’ve ever seen in action and that is saying something considering I put criminals away for a living. 

Getting to know Rip is a unique experience but it’s worth it to have something close to a friend. We’re working late one night and I’ve rolled my sleeves up. He comments on the scars and in a moment of unguardedness I brush my thumb over them and tell him that I lost my soulmate, once I had there wasn’t a reason to keep the empty tracker. He nods and rubs his ring finger and I’m reminded of all the loss he experienced. There are nights now that we sit and sip scotch and talk about his time on the Waverider with the team. Its clear that they became a family to him and I am baffled that he would give it all up even if they are idiots. 

Learning about the team makes the idiocy only slightly more tolerable and when Rip goes missing in that timeline theres a pride in him watching Sara take charge of the team but there is an overshadowing darkness and I can tell he’s haunted by something. Its months later when Rip doesn’t come to the office and the most recent Legends catastrophe ends with the White Canary dead in the med bay of the Waverider and my heart lurches. I feel cold and empty after watching Rip break her neck and suddenly I can’t find it in myself to hate the Legends today.

He looks like shit the next day.

“Hey”

“Agent Sharpe, how is everything today?”

“The Bureau is running smoothly Director Hunter”

“Good, thats good”

“Sir, are you okay?”

“Yes Agent Sharpe I will be fine”

“She survived”

“Yes, no thanks to me”

“I doubt she blames you”

“She should, I have let her down more times than is fair”

“She’s still alive, I think that counts for something”

He laughs and I’m confused, it must show on my face.

“She is quite literally still alive despite everything that has ever happened to her”

“Survival is a commendable skill”

“It’s not survival Agent Sharpe, it is a will to make something of her second chance at life”

I don’t think much of it, assuming joining the Legends was Sara’s second chance at life. It’s an early morning waiting for Rip to brief a small team of us in his office when a file catches my eye. The file says Canary and I can’t stop my intrigue and flip it open. Pages and pages of the life that has been lived and suddenly I feel I have intruded, flipping the file closed and schooling my features as the door swings open.

I’m out in the field slowly and quietly cleaning up small anachronisms as Director Hunter prepares us for what is coming next. He wont tell us what’s coming and the waiting has me on edge. It feels like the world is going to crack down the middle when time breaks and I’m unimpressed all over again by the Legends when I have to open portals for dinosaurs. Watching Director Hunter disband the Legends is satisfying and sad all at once.

Time being free of the Legends is short lived as they storm the Time Bureau raving about Cesar. After having Sara point my own weapon at me and tease me about my uniform, I want to smack the smug look off her face as she explains that Cesar is loose in 2017. I have to question Rip’s sanity as he lets them take off in the Waverider. 

My irritation is mostly at the Legends for screwing up so badly that cleanup isn’t smooth and now I’m a prisoner of the Roman army. My irritation increases ten fold when the Legends crash in and try to save myself and my team. So Sara can fight and yes we fight well together but it doesn’t change how stupid I think the whole team is, even more so after seeing them in action.

“Sir, I don’t understand why you’re letting them go”

“They are an effective team and there will be a time when we need a chainsaw”

I glare at his stubbornness and stalk through a portal.


	6. Coming Back to Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any mistakes

There is warmth around me and the feeling is strange and out of place. I can’t breath, something is stoping me, water, I’m under water. I feel like I’m somewhere familiar but everything is hazy. I feel strong. I feel a connection to a face that seems familiar and I lunge for her. I’m angry and confused as I’m held back and suddenly my world is dark again. 

I can feel her, somewhere near by is the woman who killed me but I am chained, I am captive while she lives free. All I know is I must get to her but there are others who have locked me up. Her face is clear in the haze of everything else and I try to grab her but am stopped by the chains.

Its dark and cold again and I’m trapped, there is something just outside my grasp, something that would free me but down here in the dark I can’t capture it. There is a blond woman who always comes down and there is something deep inside that wants to be remembered but my mind is confused and I’m frustrated that I can’t pull it out. 

I don’t remember getting loose and my mind can only focus on one thing. Everything is disjointed and lost, snippets of thoughts flashing through but the only thing I can focus on is finding her and ending her. The blond woman stops me again tries to choke me, the next thing I know I’m in a hospital and she’s saying something to me but I don’t know what it is. I can still feel her and I crash through an upper window to get to her. The blond woman is holding a gun and she’s saying something that I feel is important but I can figure it out.

Laurel is hugging me and then dad is there and there’s Ollie and Dig and Felicity. Everything is fuzzy and there are parts missing. Laurel works to bring me back into the world but there’s something darker underneath that I can’t control. Thea talks to me about it but after I kill a man I have to leave, I have to find a way to move on.

“You don’t have to go”

“Laurel, I do I need to find some peace”

“Where are you heading”

“I’m going to see mom for a bit, then who knows”

She hugs me tight and I promise to keep in touch. 

I spend a couple weeks with mom and I learn a lot about myself in the time I spend there. I’ve been there 10 days when I decide I want a tracker and mom gives me a smile and hug as I head out the door. The heartbeat is odd not quite in sync with my own but comforting in a way I don’t think I’ve ever experienced.

Traveling takes my mind off the burning need to take and hanging out in seedy bars gives me the chance to beat up creepy guys taking advantage of women. Traveling also makes me feel more accomplished in life then I thought it would. It’s one of these nights that finds me in unfamiliar territory.

“I think you should do it”

“Laurel, I died, I’m still picking up those pieces”

She smiles and shows me the outfit and I can’t help but feel giddy at the idea of doing something worthwhile.

“You can do something great, and who knows maybe you’ll find what you’re looking for”

She makes a pointed look at my wrist and I can feel myself blush.

“I didn’t think you would ever get one”

“Coming back for the dead left me wanting a new path, you never got one”

She smiles sadly

“Tommy was everything and once he was gone I couldn’t imagine getting a blank tracker”

I nod and hug her tighter. Knowing that life has been hard on both of us, I laugh as I think about the lives that we live. I hold the idea of Laurel’s belief in me and the solid pull of the tracker on my wrist dear to me as I make my way to a slightly creepy empty lot.

There are so many things that change with the Legends. Friendship is a new concept all its own but the near death and world ending experiences never change. Being stranded in 1958 is hardly ideal but there’s a part of me that wants to find Lindsey and be as ridiculously happy as Ray is but I don’t fit and the tracker on my wrist doesn’t skip a beat when I’m with her so I pack up and leave.

I find peace back in Nanda Parbat but it’s not home anymore and it’s comforting to be back on the ship. Saving myself is something that never crossed my mind despite the fact that the whole mission is about going back in time and I’m sad for a moment for the girl I was and when Stein says he’s surprised I didn’t warn myself about getting on the Gambit I smile brush my thumb over my tracker, I’m pretty sure life will turn out okay. 

Life doesn’t turn out okay, we lose Snart, I lose Laurel and yes we defeat Savage but it seems hollow as Rip drops us back off. Dad says I should do good things so I go back and we work to replace the Time Masters. Things don’t go smoothly, I’m not dumb enough to tell that we fuck up more often then not but it’s still good work, we get there in the end, usually. 

We get bigger, we search for Rip, we stop an alien invasion, we find Rip, I almost die, we fix Rip, the world as we know it ends, we kinda fix the world as we know it but the dinosaur strolling down the street leaves something to be desired. When Rip appears before us I hadn’t felt betrayal like that since he shot me.

Life is shit for a while, I clearly don’t do well in normal life. I can’t help the glee I feel at breaking into the Time Bureau and telling them they missed something. We go to fix it but we do it our way so it takes a couple fo tries but our family is together again and we save the attractive agent who thinks we’re fuck ups.

You’d think for us the circus would go well but I can only do so much. When Agent Sharpe appears on the ship I’ve been waiting for it. She uses my weapon and I’m angry that Rip used us to train his team, even more so when we’re so evenly matched I can’t put her on the ground. Sipping water with her is an odd experience but slightly enjoyable. Being interrupted by a sabertooth tiger wasn’t expected and she is a pain in the ass when I save her. It’s infuriating and I can feel my blood pressure rising the longer I’m locked with her. Usually I focus on my tracker but the pulse is spiked and it’s not helping me calm down at all.

“Your sister I assume?”

“And our friend Oliver”

Shouting at her about some unknown evil gets me nowhere and annoys me in a way that I can’t quite figure out. I give her something that might resemble a smile and remind her to get Gary on her way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has gotten a little longer then I thought it would but I hope you are enjoying it so far.


	7. Colliding Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fucked up again. I feel like I’m constantly having to look out for whatever new thing they’re going to screw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long this took. I was having major writer's block. With that in mind this is a little forced cause they lack interaction and it's from Ava's POV and I didn't have multiple chapters to try to work through but the next one will be a little longer and there's going to start to be some puzzling by Sara about what might be going on with her tracker recently. Thanks for the reads, comments and Kudos they are much appreciated. Also thank you for holding out I promise to give this a nice completion just might take some time.

They fucked up again. I feel like I’m constantly having to look out for whatever new thing they’re going to screw up. How is it that they managed to intercept Gary’s code 99. I need to talk to him about using a more secure frequency to make calls like that. The fact that A.R.G.U.S. tracks them is no surprise and of course they still want to go after that girl. Gary staying on the ship is helpful if only to keep tabs on what stupid thing they’ll be doing next. 

Only the Legends would decide that starting a bigger fight is the way to stop a fight but they still managed to be more controlled than Gary announcing that time travel is real. No sooner is the thought formed then they decide to do a prison break. 

Hovering over them in the mothership is satisfying in a way I can’t describe. They’re still trying to fix what they’ve screwed up but I just don’t want the timeline to get any more screwed up then it already is. Things like this are why Maullus’s cage is weakening and mostly I just want to fix it at this point. 

Gary running onto the ship is about as predictable as can be, he’s always been a bit of a wet blanket.

“Sara Lance” Her look of frustration is rather amusing and a pause for a moment to relish it.

“I see you and your team have managed to get yourselves in over your heads, again” 

The grumbling of Mick is expected and the ever naive and optimistic response of Jefferson does nothing to quell my frustration at the situation.

How they thought starting a prison riot at a government facility would help anything is beyond me, as are most of the their actions. I want them to stay out of this fight, I don’t understand how Rip thinks this catastrophe of a team is going to help fix time. Sara’s snark is expected but it still causes my blood to boil, how I wish I could smack the smirk off her face as she says it.

The professors level head tries to intervene but Sara’s too worked up to take it to heart and her insistence is predictable. Ray’s communication over comms could not have been more perfectly timed and watching the defeat fly across her face before she can school it is so satisfying.

“If you send us the coordinates we would be happy to save him for you”

I want her to comply but mostly I want her to bend to the rules. I fire off a couple warning shots when they don’t seem inclined to give me what I want. 

“Did you just shoot at us?”

“I’m not screwing around, give us those coordinates. The next one will not be a warning Miss Lance”

I can see the resolve settle over her face and internally I relax a little bit. Stein seems to have settle the team out.

“Fine. I’ll uplink their coordinates to you now. Ready?”  
“Ready to receive” 

I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple but I’m still stunned when they vanish. I know it’s not Gary’s fault but I can’t stop myself from snapping at him. Tracking them down in the time stream is simple but I don’t really want to kill them and scatter them through space but she wont stop and hits are landing, I don’t know how much more the Waverider can take. 

My heart rate spikes as she turns the ship towards us and for the first time in years I flash to my soulmate, glad for once that they don’t have to live with the sudden uncertainty and stress the Legends have brought to my life. 

I know the answer but I ask anyway “What are you doing?”

“Being true to who we are, my team doesn’t rollover on their own”

“Zari Tomaz is not one of your own” I can’t help but point out. 

Part of me can’t believe they would be so careless as to try to kill us both but I’ve learned their captain will do what ever she thinks is necessary for what she thinks is right. Her determination is what steals my resolve and I have to jump us away. Every part of me is screaming that I should have stayed the corse but something deep within is sure that Sara would have faced death for what she felt was right.

I want to find them and ground them permanently. They’re a danger to the entire world and they need to be disbanded. Her smug face as she taunts me infuriates me. She needs to learn that their actions have consequences but she doesn’t seem open to learning that lesson. I don’t know how Rip ever got them to follow the rules of not changing the past when they can be so hard headed and stubborn.

Its a query for another day though as things with Rip seem to be getting more obscure.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright I'm not planning on letting this get too long so there are a couple more chapters and if I want to add more I'll make a sequel.


End file.
